im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
