Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So many bounce houses so little time
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
