The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
this boner is exhausting
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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