im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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