listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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