In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
