just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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