the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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