Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
