Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize