I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
