yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
