dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
