i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
