I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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