Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
