also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
