well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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