just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
