Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize