She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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