I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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