What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
