she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
