she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Randomize
