i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
