I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
