That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
