Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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