I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize