i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
