What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize