Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
