Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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