pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
