is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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