Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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