its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
