his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize