sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
