why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize