Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
