come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
