hell yes lets make some ravioli
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
