If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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