When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
