hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
