Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
