He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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