yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
