Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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