how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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