I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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