i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
