i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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