Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
