I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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