I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
