I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
