I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
