i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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