i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
