some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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