If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
