Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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