She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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