GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Someone came in the potted fern
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
