Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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