where am i from again
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
