She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize