is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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