he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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