if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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