Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I have feelings that need drinking.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I supernannyed him into submission
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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