I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
