Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
