Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
