Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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