I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
