I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
There are leaves in my underwear?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
