We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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