We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
